


what could’ve been

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, F/M, if both bellamy and clarke went void and this is the aftermath, love confessions sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25040458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: After Clarke and Bellamy return to Sanctum after becoming void and manipulated by the disciples, he confronts her in the medical bay to try and make sense of things.The only problem was that she was sleeping.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	what could’ve been

**Author's Note:**

> this is a tweet to petitions you can sign for multiple issues: https://twitter.com/kindapopular/status/1272151712854413315?s=20
> 
> donation links to support black trans lives: https://twitter.com/SweeneySays/status/1271830205280038912?s=20
> 
> and a thread of petitions to continue supporting the black lives matter movement: https://twitter.com/goinsupernova/status/1270393799710322690?s=20

_ Clarke was blinking in and out of consciousness, her hands sticky with her own black blood. she turns her head slowly, to try and lessen the ache in her neck and bruised shoulder—but she sees someone she had been dreaming of for the past week.  _

_ When he took notice of her stirring form, she half expected him to spring to her and engulf her warmly but he was wincing and struggling to even stand. So he stays sitting down in the chair beside her bed.  _

_ She closes her eyes, feeling the sudden urge to cry over remembering what she had done. The people she betrayed, hurt, and it feels like an ongoing cycle of guilt that forms in her empty stomach.  _

_ She pretends to fall back asleep, silently wishing the tears wouldn’t fall.  _

_ “Gaia came to me a few hours ago,” He began, his voice tight withheld true emotions. He was holding himself together, just like she was doing. They had done terrible things in the last few days. But this was a new feeling. They had betrayed their family together, and that had never happened before. “She gave me this—“ He paused, and the sound of a chain unwinding from his fingers was all she focused on. “As some sort of peace offering, and we both know I don’t deserve that.”  _

  
  


_ She wanted to argue, say that he was wrong but nothing came out. She wouldn’t dare speak.  _

_ Pretending to shuffle on her side, she shut her eyes painfully hard so she could find the strength to breathe.  _

_ It was her mother’s ring in his hands.  _

_ Bellamy clears his throat, nervous for some reason she can’t think about. “I want you to know that I’m sorry for luring you to Bardo. You have to know that it wasn’t me, Clarke. It was never—“ He stopped himself before he cracked, the need to cry was strong for the both of them apparently. “It opened my eyes to the person I could’ve become if I hadn’t met you.”  _

_ Her heart constricted in her chest.  _

_ Her throat was burning with holding back tears.  _

_ “I’m sorry that I was the cause of your suffering when they tried to turn you.” He whispered, pleading for her forgiveness. “I’m sorry I turned you into the person you were always trying to avoid turning into.”  _

_ She couldn’t help it anymore. She opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out was a quiet sob that made her curl into the pillow tighter.  _

_ He must’ve known she was up now.  _

  
  


_ She was sorry for everything she had ever done to him.  _

_ Now, as she laid alone in one of the only empty bedrooms of fallen Sanctum, she didn’t know how she could move on like this by herself.  _

  
  


_ “I’m sorry that I can’t give you this.” He didn’t move, pretending like nothing changed and he was still talking to a sleeping Clarke. Maybe it was better that way for him to admit his feelings. It took her a moment to realize he was referring to the ring in his hands, and she froze. “I know that I used it to bring you back from Bardo, but things have always been painful and complicated for us. I’m sure you never wanted to see it again.”  _

  
  


_ She holds her breath.  _

_ The chair scrapes against the wood when he stands successfully, and the chain is set down on the desk in the corner. He walks towards the door, “I’m sure you would never want to see it again even if it came from me. Even if our timing is right the next time we’re caught in a near death experience.” His voice was full of wonder of what could’ve been. “In another life, I think I would’ve kept this with me.”  _

  
  


_ She opens her eyes, thankful she couldn’t see him from this angle.  _

_ “There was never an ‘us’ in this life.” Bellamy told her, and the heartache that runs through her chest is enough to make her whimper in pain. Her shoulder hurts, but she won’t move. She wasn’t in any physical pain when her heart was breaking. “But I would’ve given you that ring if you asked me to. If I said I loved you sooner.”  _


End file.
